Walking Around in Ordinary Clothes

I've always wondered if Jesus walks around in ordinary clothes, seeing how we treat people. It's a common wonder as a Christian. I've always wondered more after the experience I'm about to share.

My senior year of high school, I worked at the local McDonald's. Cottage Grove is a small town, but I-5 runs right through the town and is a convenient stop for travelers, and the first with several amenities in either direction, especially for travelers headed North. Thus, the only jobs for teenagers in Cottage Grove seems to be fast food. I didn't mind terribly working at McDonald's, even though we were insanely busy most nights. Being a freeway stop, we saw a number of travelers. Those from sports teams, greyhound bus passengers, truckers, and vagrants.

The night was one of those insanely busy nights. I was working the front counter and we had all four registers going, filling orders and moving at a very fast pace. The lobby was full and no matter how many people we served, there always seemed to be a crowd waiting. I noticed a man standing off to the side of the crowd. He swayed back and forth as he stood, wringing his hands, disconnected from the world around him. His clothes were not clean, his hair tangled, his face deeply tanned. I watched him while I filled a few orders, trying to figure our what he needed. The next chance I got, I motioned for him to come over to my register.

He approached with his head down, shuffling his feet as he walked. He mumbled as he ordered, with few comprehensible words. I worked with him trying to figure out what he wanted. Being a natural teacher, I always have had the tools to figure out how to know what people need, to help them express what they want. After a few minutes of working with him, I figured out what he wanted, a cheeseburger and french fries. He painstakingly counted out his money, mumblings as he did so. As I filled his order, I noticed him furiously scribbling on a piece of paper. I handed him his order. He lifted his head, and seem transformed... his clothes seemed less disheveled, his hair less tangled. He said to me, clearly, with confidence, "Thank you so much, God bless, this is for you". I looked at the piece of paper, and a few bible verses were on it as well as his name. The writing was clear and perfect, just as his last words to me. It was as if my kindness and patience transformed him. I had to take a moment to myself, as all of it seemed so surreal. I asked my coworkers if they had seen what had happened, and none of them had seen the man. As I had worked with him for several minutes, and he stood there, writing, which was unusual, I would have expected someone to notice, but no one did. It was if it was an experience just for me.
I still to this day wonder about that experience.

Humanity

The last few days I have been touched by a lot of people, many of whom I've never met, who have supported me and have given to my walk generously. I am overwhelmed by this and it all comes at a time that someone in my life deeply hurt me and isn't even aware that they did so. I love that just when I feel like there may be few good, caring people in this world, God reveals to me a side of humanity full of love and compassion.

The Devil's Work

This post on Nate's blog really resonated with me.

I've been reading a number of blogs written by parents of kids that have cancer on a daily basis. I routinely come across comments that are to the effect that the cancer is the Devil's work or that it's his presence and God will remove it. This always deeply disturbed me both as a Christian and someone with a fatal illness.

I think of my CF as a challenge from God. To trust in him that I would never have more than I can handle. To use my CF to build strength to share with the world and also be humble enough to accept strength from others. If disease and hardship were the Devil's work, then that's saying I was born with him in me. That's not okay in my mind. To me I only see Satan working where people have abandoned hope... not in the faces of fighters who fight every day for health. Satan is found where hurt is purposeful, not a byproduct of a challenge.

Never once have I thought that CF was from Satan. I know it is in a plan far greater than my understanding, and while it is hard to accept, I work on doing so all the time, I do accept it to the best of my capabilities.

As far as praying for a miraculous healing. I don't. That may sound terrible, but I would never pray for a miracle just for me. If I were to wake up tomorrow without CF it would break my heart, because there would still be thousands out there with CF, suffering, dying, and not breathing free. I pray for God to guide the researchers to find a cure, to speed it along, but eradicating it from just me? That would be selfish, and that goes against my Christian and self values.

I don't know why I am posting this, but I feel that I need to. I want people to know where I am coming from, in all realms. I invite you to share your opinion. I do it with some trepidation, as I know some people will not agree with me. I am okay with that, but if you do, please do not try to change my mind. I would love to hear your views, but know that they probably will not change my ideas, but I also cannot say that they won't, because I am a strong believer in always leaving the possibility for change. Just remember to be respectful :)

Cheers!