Monday, September 29, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Not good...

So my culture that was "clear" for MRSA finally grew it. To say I'm upset would be an understatement. I just want to go and hide in bed and just forget about the world. 2 more weeks of home IV's now. I was really excited about getting off on Monday... now no more. I was excited that maybe all my prayers to kick MRSA had been answered... and now I just don't even know. I still have faith, but I also don't even know if I should bother to hope that this inscesant bug can go away. I'm just so over it...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

A Million Prayers Answered

So Friday morning, I was going about my buisness, feeling better, wondering if I would be able to get out on Monday. As early mornings are known for in the hospital, people were bustling in and out of my room... why hospitals think simulating Grand Central Station at 7 am is good for anyone's health is beyond me. Anyway, my nurse casually mentions that they are discontinuing my Vancomycin, one of the most powerful IV antibiotics, and one of the very few that have any efficacy against MRSA. MRSA... the big bad boogeyman bug that had the media all in a tissy in the last year has colonized in my lungs for the last few years. While it did not cause a great change in my health, it was a complication that was unwanted all the same. Once MRSA colonizes, it is very difficult to get rid of. So when it was mentioned they were pulling my vanco, my mind started reeling... could it be possible? Could MRSA not have shown up in my cultures? I eagerly awaited the med team arrival that morning. Sure enough, my cultures came back, MRSA free... and I gave an amazing sputum sample. While I am not saying that it is gone until I have a few more cultures under my belt... I feel like great prayers have been answered. I never prayed for my CF to be gone, as I would never feel okay if I was the only one cured, taking this one small burden from me was something that I hoped for in my darkest times.

With the news of my MRSA being gone, and my general energy level increasing by the hour, my cough no longer roaring, and mucus no longer coming up with every hack of my warn lungs, they released me today to continue my IV's at home. My shortest stay ever... one where I did not have the constant worry of my weight, where I did not struggle to heal. I know not every visit will be like this, but a bright spot is something to illuminate so many other times.

Tonight, when I got home, I immediatly looked to connect with my husband, roomies, and kitties. I was told that my Hazard had not been seen since Friday morning, not unheard of him to be gone so long, but not normal either. I called him a few times, then decided to wait until night when he normally comes home. On our way out to dinner, only a quarter mile from the house, I saw a sickening site. The body of a pure black cat was laying on the side of the road. My heart rate quickened, but I did not feel an instant pit in my stomach... hope despite the evidence. Matt and I pulled over to take a closer look. The cat was in bad condition, you could tell they were gone instantly. I looked for Hazard's distinctive qualities... and found some on this cat. Long black hair and no color patches... but I also did not see his long hair sticking out between the pads of the paws and the ears did not seem to be the same as my baby's. Matt and I could not definitively tell if it was Hazard, but I let the cat know whomever he was he was a good kitty. I was sad, but okay if it was my Hazard. I knew that my boy could still be alive, but wouldn't believe it until I saw him. After dinner we came home, and I called him again... no answer. Thirty minutes later, Tyrone opened the door to talk to his cat, and my big black fuzzy boy came bounding into the house. He meowed when he saw me and immediately nuzzled his mom, who'd he missed for the last few days. I hugged him tight, and he couldn't understand why we were all fussing over him, but tonight I am so happy to have my boy back.

So tonight... my prayers are full of thanks... and I thank all of you for the ones you have sent my ways!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tune Up Time

Hey all!

So I'm writing this from the lovely confines of OHSU hospital... as is normal with CF, it was time for me to get a "tune-up". Some CFers rarely need them, while others need IV clean up several times a year. My body seems to need it about every year, and it's that time of year for me. I started feeling worse about a month ago and was put on oral antibiotics. They helped, but I declined rapidly after our return from Seattle (another forthcoming post). At my clinic appointment on Tuesday, I knew it was probably time, packed my bags, and my doctor and I decided it was time. Amazingly enough, despite how bad I feel and how bad my cough sounds compared to my normal, my lung function tests were not down. Usually an infection of this magnitude would make them terrible, and I would have a hard time gaining back what I lost. This time, by catching it before I decrease, I hope that I may even have improved function after. On another positive note, I have also gained a small amount of weight... unsual when I have been dealing with a persistant infection...

So even though I find myself in the hospital, I find myself incredibly blessed!