Friday, May 21, 2010

27, planning 30

I'm already planning my 30th birthday. It doesn't matter that I'm yet to turn 29, or even 28 for that matter, I'm already thinking about what I want to do for my 30th. I don't think there is anyone else in this world that anticipates 30 quite like a cystic born in my generation.

When we were born, 18 was about the best that anyone could ask for. Parents were told to take their kids home and enjoy them while they still had them. Growing up was a dream. Our childhood was a period of great discovery in the CF world, from finding the gene, developing new medication, and discovering better therapy protocols. By the time we were teenagers, the life expectancy had grown to 30. Where it sat. And sat. And sat. It's slowly crept up since then, but for a long time 30 was the magic number.

And now 30 is slowly coming into sight. I know that it's still a long time off though, when you only have 30% lung capacity. It's a very real possibility that between here and there, I may have a lung transplant. It's a very real possibility that I stay the same or very slowly decline. It's also a very real possibility that I won't see 30 at all.

I'm pretty sure I'll make it to 28. Shoot, the groceries I'm buying lately have my birthday as their use by date. If they can make it to July 12th, then so can I. And 28 is awesome... but it's no 30.

Do I have a huge party? Would anyone come? (wait Talana, the "I'm insecure and nobody loves me" post is for another time) Maybe a cruise? I'd want some people that I love to come with me like my parents and my sister.

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