Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dear Eva

Dear Eva,

7 months since you left this world. Tonight another cystic friend left this world. Invite Gess to the party... he may be shy at first, but if anyone can pull someone out of their shell, it's you.

For Good is on right now, playing on my iTunes shuffle. I don't know how well I'm doing, living the life lessons you taught me. Right now, my life is going so many directions, yet at the same time I feel stuck in the doldrums of being sick. but I'm starting on the next big step. My first meeting with the transplant team at UCLA happened on October 14th, nearly a year to the day after I last hugged you. I know you and Jenn were there with me... my CF cysters who hold me when I'm scared.

The transplant team thinks that I'm still too healthy, which I agree with, but they're going to keep a close eye on me... for which I'm grateful for. I am so scared of getting too sick, waiting too long, or suddenly being gone like Jenn. I'm scared for my family, for Matt, for my friends... I need to make it through this, I need to breathe again.

I miss you girl, each and every day. Squish Jenn for me, have a dance party, and welcome Gess. I'll talk to you again soon.


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